Curse....or blessing??

My weakness is that I care too much. Simple as that. I constantly ask myself time after time how can I be so stupid to continuously fall for the wrong person. Why am I allowing myself to get hurt like this? I ask God over and over and over, "WHY??" ..."Why do I have to care soooo much?" It just feels like a horrible curse that I want to get rid of. If I didn't care so much, I wouldn't hurt, right? If I was like a lot of other people and just worried about myself I wouldn't get my heart broken all the time, but I'm not like other people.

Then... other days are different. People come to me because they know they can count on me.. they know that I truly care. Those days... it feels like a blessing. I absolutely love helping people. I don't want anyone to hurt like I have and I'd do anything to prevent pain for someone else. Truth of the matter is, I love so easily... I love everyone, even if everyone gets on my nerves or I don't agree with their lifestyle, I still can't help but love people. "Never stop doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little things occupy the biggest part of their heart."

So I sit here wondering... is this a curse? or a blessing? At times it can be both, but I honestly don't want to look at it negatively no matter how much I get hurt. God only knows how many times I ask Him why. He only knows how much I don't want this curse... But He is also the only one that knows how much of a blessing this really is. He is the only one that knows the true intentions of my heart. He is the only one who knows how much I care for everyone. People have told me that I fall too easily... It's true... I do. I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easy, and care too much, and people say I should change that.  .. it is definitely not my intentions to get hurt and let's be honest... God loves me. He has my story written and he has someone that will accept me just.the.way.I.am. 

So even though part of me wants to change that, I can't. For now on...my goal is to embrace my life and learn to accept myself. My goal is to not try and change everything to my standards. I realize I just need to learn to relax a little more and BE PATIENT and someday... all of this pain will finally make sense.

-love-

 dan