but as for me... I will always have hope!

So...last week or so I wrote about finally getting back to school. Well!!! Change of plans!! It seems all I am doing is going back and forth and it's quite tiring, but finally I found out when I am going back to training.. I should be happy. I am happy. BUT... I'm a little sad too, scared even. I was so ready for this so how can I be scared? I was getting so used to the fact of nothing happening, that I think I convinced myself it never would. ..I'm scared not because I can't do it, but because I am worried I forgot everything I need to know. ...I'm scared because this will be the first time I'm not home for Thanksgiving..or Christmas. _I can't complain about that!! Most of my AF friends had to miss many holidays with their familes already...and probably many more. That right there though may be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. It's too bad I can't take all of the people I love with me!! ..That would be one large suitcase!! :) One I am willing to invent!! Hehe!

I am so happy though... FINALLY.. I will be moving forward with my life, not just sitting around  working my life away. The AF changed my life and I don't want to be done with it. I've met the most amazing people and I can't wait to meet many more. I'm so happy I will get to put that uniform back on! :) SOOO HAPPY!! This is what I wanted... but naturally my emotions are all mixed up, there is good and bad in most situations.

I just have to keep in mind that I won't be stationed there forever. It's just a few months.. and I have done it before! My friends and family will always be here... and they will do just fine without me. ..and I need to remember that as long as I have God, I will not fail. Because of Him I was given a second chance, this is how He planned my life. I mentioned in another post that maybe I am where I am because it's where I need to be... maybe the time for that is about up and then it is time for me to be somewhere else. Like... MISSISSIPPI! :) I've never been to there before!! What a great experience it will be!! :D AND... I have a few friends there! YAY!!

 

Sometimes you are delayed where you are because there is a storm where you were headed. Everywhere God takes me is for a reason... that gives me hope! That gives me the strength and courage to do what I need to do. God gives me the strength and the courage! :) Besides... people are just people... why am I so worried about everything...they shouldn't make me nervous, because really, I'm only scared of making mistakes and not doing everything perfect,  but...I already know I'm not perfect. And worrying will never change the outcome, so what's the point?

I know what I want to do in life. I want to protect people...I want to protect my country. "You can't fall if you don't climb, but there's no joy in living your whole life on the ground." I could be like a lot of people I know and spend my whole life on the ground... but hey...I LOVE heights!! Why in the world would I want to stay down on the ground?? I did something most of the people back here haven't..it was emotionally and physically tough, but I made it just fine. I could have decided to be something around home..that wasn't so hard, but if you don't invest very much, then defeat doesn't hurt very much, and winning isn't very exciting. ...I want to win, but I don't want anything handed to me ALL the time. If you don't work for your accomplishments, then how can you claim the accomplishment as your own? I've worked my butt off to get where I am. Even though it may have sucked at times, I still accomplished it because I didn't give up.

I am so excited for this chance and I look forward to my new journey!! One other thing I will be sure to keep in mind .... My God is bigger than any problems I face!He is much, much bigger!! :) God bless! I pray every one of you continue with your dreams as well! :)

-love-
  dan