Pray hardest when it is hardest to pray...

The going has gotten tough for many I have known lately... and it absolutely POSITIVELY breaks my heart. The thing is... I dont know what to say to them. I want them to feel better, but nothing I say, nothing ANYONE says can make it better. I'm very pleased and blessed that my life is decent at the moment, but then again... it isn't, because my friends are hurting....

What do you say to ease the pain? What do you do when nothing you say will help? Life can just flat out suck sometimes.... but that's life isn't it? This world we live in is NOT perfect, far from it actually, so what do we expect? There are so many devastating things going on lately and I've been pondering it for days... and days... I still know I don't have the right words for any of them. I have come close to asking God why... but who am I to ask Him such a thing? Who am I to be the judge of how things are to play out? I'm not... and neither are you. God has a reason for everything... He has a plan for all of us.

"Life has many ways of testing a persons will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once." -Paulo Coelho

I know some very strong people going through some of the toughest things you can ever imagine. Just know, you are never alone. Every single one of us is going through some kind of battle... everyone needs somebody. Let it out, cry, do what you need to do, but know, please know you are never alone. If anything talk to God... He happens to be the BEST listener out there!

Every night, I pray for every single one of you... and I mean every single one. God already knows what I'm thinking, but I make sure to say it so He really, really knows. I love you all and I wish I could do something to ease the pain. I know my words don't change anything, but I want you all to know that I deeply and truly care.

"It's in the tough times that we discover the depths of our strength."

 

This, my friends, is a test. And I know you are all strong enough to overcome it!

 

-love-

  dan

I love you all

I'm so out of practice with this writing thing...makes me sad. I don't really have a lot of time and not able to access internet at times either, but I wanted to make a point to write a little more. ...Today is a historic day for everyone... the 71st anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. It effects all of us, even if not directly. But much more than that... today six years ago, myself and a numerous amount of other people lost an amazing girl. That day is burned into my memory... I remember every moment perfectly.... every.single.moment.in.slow.motion.

It's tough being away from home during a moment like this, but it's nice to know that my new friends, who never even knew her, are completely there for me. It's hard to not be selfish and feel sorry for myself, but every single person has their own tragedy in life..I believe everything happens for a reason and God takes the best people, but dangggggg!!

She posted a note to all of her best friends on Oct. 26, 2006, a couple months prior... I absolutely LOVE reading this!!

To my Best Friends,
I know that things are changing and i know that more challenges are coming our way. But know this. You are and Always will be my world and my everything. There are times when we feel sad, down, and hurt but there is no time that i can't be brought up by you. We have lead eachother through the hardest of times and those hard times have made us stronger in the end. There is nothing in this world that could come between us. Our friendship as been at the edge of the cliff at times but we never let eachother fall. Life is always hard and difficult, no one ever said it was easy. But with you i feel as if i could do anything. You have given me confidence not only in myself but in the rest of the world as well. You have given me the chance to experience a kind of friendship i thought never existed. Change isnt always a good thing and the changes that are to come will be the most hurtful of them all. But remeber this..that no matter how far away, no matter the distance, together or apart No One will ever take your place. You have changed my life in a way no body has ever done before. You are my sister, My whore, My Bridget, My rosey, My best friend, but most importantly..My Whole World. With out you I'm not me, With out you i am incomplete. I love you more than you will ever know.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!♥♥♥♥♥

Almost every single one of us girls in my class were best friends! We did have that friendship many people search their whole lives to find. "Change isn't always a good thing and the changes that are to come will be the most hurtful of them all." That change WAS the most hurtful of them all... but like she said, no matter the distance No One will ever take your place. ..No one has and no one ever will take her place. Many things have changed since then, but I will always love those girls like crazy. Today is hard for all of us, but just keep in mind, those of us who knew her, were privileged enough. :) We had amazing memories that will never ever be forgotten.

If today is tough, talk to someone, because believe me...we are all hurting. Also, remember to think of all the amazing times. There was never a dull moment with her... think about her amazing voice and her beautiful smile. She has the face of an angel.

Ashton Taylor Burr <3 Our angel

I hope everyone has an amazing day and if anyone needs to talk, you know how to get ahold of me :)
-love-
  dan

No matter how temorary... goodbyes are just awful.

Sooo.. tomorrow is the big day that I have been waiting for, for so long. I leave for Mississippi.. People keep asking, "Are you excited?" My response, "...nervous...just nervous." I mean.. I am excited and it is exactly what I wanted, but even though it is what I wanted, I am SCARED! ..

I don't want to admit that, being scared..but I am. Scared that maybe I forgot everything... or what if nobody likes me and I don't make any friends... What if it doesn't go as I want this time too??? ... I think those are perfectly logical concerns. But... then again... I have been through much harder times.

Even though I'm not leaving forever, I still hate saying goodbye. It is LONG enough... I am going to miss everyone soooo much but this is something I need to do for me. And goodbye doesn't mean forever..just for now! :)))

Anddddd I am excited, FINALLY!!!! I felt like this day would never get here, but now it is! :D All of the crap I have had to go through, all of the stress this has caused me... hopefully it all pays off. It is now up to me and God! :) I am so grateful for all of the support from my friends and family, it means the world to me and I hope to make you all proud!

"All glory comes from daring to begin."-william shakespeare

 

This quote makes me feel a little better... :) We will never get anywher in life if we don't first decide to start somewhere. To get where you want, you have to make sacrifices... my sacrifice will only last a few months at a time. I can do it... I have dared to begin! :)

I plan to write as often as I can, but I'm not promising anything. I will probably be busy, but I will be sure to tell you all about Mississippi! Sooo even though I hate to say it.. Goodbye, for now! :) and God bless! <3

 

-love-

  dan



The years of struggle...

Have you ever felt soooo scared or soooo sad that you just wanted to find a rock and hide under it?? Maybe if you just hid, everything would miraculously be that much easier.. Does anything ever turn out better when we hide? ... Lately I have been stressing a lot... I mean, I'm leaving in about three weeks. I've done this before so why am I so worried??

My whole life I've had to adapt and overcome. I don't recall a whole lot being easier.... In school I had to study harder.. in sports I had to practice harder... At Basic Training my whole flight had to adjust in a way other flights didn't. We didn't have heat for the first week, our pipes broke and we had to move to a completely different squadron the next..and that was just the start. Those are little struggles I have had to deal with, but still...struggles. I always asked, "Why can't ONE thing go right?" ..."Why can't ONE thing be easy?" ...but is it supposed to be? You'd think by now I'd be used to it anyway...

People ask me, "Well isn't this what you wanted?" Welllllll..... Yeah!!! But even though things may be headed in the right direction it can still be a bit of a struggle. ..It's hard leaving what you know...leaving that comfort zone. Honestly, I'm scared TO DEATH!! I don't want a pitty party or anything, but these will be the toughest days of my life yet!!

 "You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward." -unknown

Why am I so worried about having it all figured out? I have the amazing support of my family and friends. Some people are unfortunate enough to not have that... isn't that all I need? The belief from them..the belief from God... the belief from myself??

 



It's fun trying new things..going to new places! :) I've never been to Mississippi before and I most definitely am looking forward to that and my new journey... no matter what the struggle.

 

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." -Sigmund Freud

Even now I look back on my past and realize that the things I went through... the "awful" things I encountered, they truly are the most beautiful. Those times, more so than the good, made me who I am. My struggles taught me everything! ...I may be scared, and times may be tough, but I have so much to live for and I'm going to miss everyone, but.. at least I have people in my life to miss. :) <3

If any of you are going through any type of struggle..don't give up. Don't always take the easy route just to make it. What is anything worth if you aren't putting everything out on the line? Take some risks and go after what you want. And sometimes when you go after your dreams, you may have to walk alone for a while..go your on way to figure out who you are, but it is then that you also find out who your true friends are... the people who stay by your side the whole time and don't allow you to travel alone.

There are others things we have to find before we find eachother... one thing being ourselves.
Sometimes... all that struggle is well worth it in the end.

 



-love-
  dan

Just take that first step...

Well hello, everyone! :) So... It's a beautiful Sunday morning, my Huskers won yesterday, and it has been a nice relaxing weekend; can't complain! Once again, I was looking at quotes, imagine that and I found a lot of good ones like usual, but the one I want to share is by Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

 

Everyone gets scared in life, because none of us really know where we are going. None of us know our actual purpose do we? Every single one of us are in the same situation, but we all act as if we are the only ones going through this. No one can see the whole picture, no one except for God, that is. We can't see the "whole staircase," but yet some of us still accomplish so much. How will we get anywhere in life if we never go outside of our comfort zone?

 

Oh_and NEVER compare your life to someone else's. Come on...none of us have the same journey in life and yes, some people may have an easier one, but that also means God knew you were strong enough to handle yours. He doesn't give any of us anything we cannot handle.

 

It's just ONE step at a time. Have a little faith and take some chances in life. How can you have any regrets if you are going after everything you dreamed of? The only regret you will have is not going after what you wanted.

 

Decide now what life you want and where you want to go. Decide now if you want the life you dream of.

 

:) Have a great day!

 

-love-

  dan

Stars...

Okay...sooo I've been kinda slacking pretty bad lately. I've had plenty I wanted to talk about, I just haven't had the motivation. So much has happened this past month, it's been crazy_ crazy, crazy, crazy!!!! One of my favorite things to do, like most girls, is to browse Pinterest! :) ...not just that... QUOTES...I love finding new ones!

"Stars can't shine without darkness." I love it! ...It's just like "...learning to dance in the rain..." Without bad days how could you ever have any good days? If everyday were good, would it actually be that great? If everything went the way we wanted it to, would we actually try and accomplish all we are capable of? Probably not!

 I know personally that I would not be where I am if things went great for me right out of highschool...  If I hadn't torn my ACL in highschool...well I could have done without that, but I would have then joined the Army, instead of the Air Force and missed out on the many opportunities I accomplished later and the absolutely amazing people I met along the way!_If everything worked out how I expected, I would still be with my first boyfriend or the next one and so on... no offense...but no thanks.Some of those ended pretty badly and caused some heartache, but I would have never learned what I truly deserve. There are soooo many things I would have preferred not going through, but without all of that darkness... I wouldn't have seen any light. I wouldn't have accomplished so much. I wouldn't have appreciated my accomplishments so much!

It's hard looking around sometimes and seeing other people live, what looks like, an easy life. I do believe other people 'have it all'...get through life so much easier, but I also know that everyone has their own obstacles as well. We shouldn't compare our lives to someone else's anyway.... God created us all in His own image. He created us all with a specific purpose. God knows all of our stories, He is writing every single one of them, so why in the world do I want someone else's story?? I shouldn't... but sometimes... I do. I should trust in the Lord and be satisfied with His work...and I try. We should all try a little harder to be more satisfied with what we have. It's great to have goals and dreams, but don't forget of the things you do have while you are going after the things you want! :)

Stars are one of the most beautiful things!! I love living in the country... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!! :D I don't have to squint really hard to see those stars... unless it's super cloudy, I get to see them every night or morning! Hehe _But could you imagine... a night sky without any stars?? How boring would that be? Just...BLACK! ...but like it says.. you can't see those stars without the darkness! ..I don't see anyone laying out during the day to look at them!

Just stay postive and have a little faith... You will get where you are going. PATIENCE is key! :) Have a great day/night!! :) God bless!!

-love-
  dan

but as for me... I will always have hope!

So...last week or so I wrote about finally getting back to school. Well!!! Change of plans!! It seems all I am doing is going back and forth and it's quite tiring, but finally I found out when I am going back to training.. I should be happy. I am happy. BUT... I'm a little sad too, scared even. I was so ready for this so how can I be scared? I was getting so used to the fact of nothing happening, that I think I convinced myself it never would. ..I'm scared not because I can't do it, but because I am worried I forgot everything I need to know. ...I'm scared because this will be the first time I'm not home for Thanksgiving..or Christmas. _I can't complain about that!! Most of my AF friends had to miss many holidays with their familes already...and probably many more. That right there though may be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. It's too bad I can't take all of the people I love with me!! ..That would be one large suitcase!! :) One I am willing to invent!! Hehe!

I am so happy though... FINALLY.. I will be moving forward with my life, not just sitting around  working my life away. The AF changed my life and I don't want to be done with it. I've met the most amazing people and I can't wait to meet many more. I'm so happy I will get to put that uniform back on! :) SOOO HAPPY!! This is what I wanted... but naturally my emotions are all mixed up, there is good and bad in most situations.

I just have to keep in mind that I won't be stationed there forever. It's just a few months.. and I have done it before! My friends and family will always be here... and they will do just fine without me. ..and I need to remember that as long as I have God, I will not fail. Because of Him I was given a second chance, this is how He planned my life. I mentioned in another post that maybe I am where I am because it's where I need to be... maybe the time for that is about up and then it is time for me to be somewhere else. Like... MISSISSIPPI! :) I've never been to there before!! What a great experience it will be!! :D AND... I have a few friends there! YAY!!

 

Sometimes you are delayed where you are because there is a storm where you were headed. Everywhere God takes me is for a reason... that gives me hope! That gives me the strength and courage to do what I need to do. God gives me the strength and the courage! :) Besides... people are just people... why am I so worried about everything...they shouldn't make me nervous, because really, I'm only scared of making mistakes and not doing everything perfect,  but...I already know I'm not perfect. And worrying will never change the outcome, so what's the point?

I know what I want to do in life. I want to protect people...I want to protect my country. "You can't fall if you don't climb, but there's no joy in living your whole life on the ground." I could be like a lot of people I know and spend my whole life on the ground... but hey...I LOVE heights!! Why in the world would I want to stay down on the ground?? I did something most of the people back here haven't..it was emotionally and physically tough, but I made it just fine. I could have decided to be something around home..that wasn't so hard, but if you don't invest very much, then defeat doesn't hurt very much, and winning isn't very exciting. ...I want to win, but I don't want anything handed to me ALL the time. If you don't work for your accomplishments, then how can you claim the accomplishment as your own? I've worked my butt off to get where I am. Even though it may have sucked at times, I still accomplished it because I didn't give up.

I am so excited for this chance and I look forward to my new journey!! One other thing I will be sure to keep in mind .... My God is bigger than any problems I face!He is much, much bigger!! :) God bless! I pray every one of you continue with your dreams as well! :)

-love-
  dan